please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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