I've blown a few things in my day
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize