All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Randomize
