splinters make it hard to masturbate
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
