somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
