life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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