I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
