hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
I'm really busy with my period
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