What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I just want to make out with him forever
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize