I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
