so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
