i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
