I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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