Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
