I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize