no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
