I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize