Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
