my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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