There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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