Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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