dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
