you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
