I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
