I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
how drunk are you?
Several
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
