Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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