Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
People in love make me want to vomit
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
