I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
