I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
