I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
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