Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Randomize
