I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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