At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Mom said you looked used
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
