so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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