If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
