I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I need mimosas to revive my soul
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize