I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
