then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
