Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
