1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
