Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Randomize
