Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You've changed since you got that strap on
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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