Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
