Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
