last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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