chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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