Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
