Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
