8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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