bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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