I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
