His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
