I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
