She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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