I am puke
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
