Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Are we still banned from the library?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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