i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
