i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
