I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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