You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
