So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
