Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
The power of my boobs compel you
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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