Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
