What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
