Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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