I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
